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Gwen Stefani: The Lion and The L.A.M.B. - An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo takes time out of his busy day after Halloween to reflect on just how awesome a girl like Gwen Stefani must be. She's a great singer, a mother, a wife, and a seamstress with her own clothing line. Hmmm.... the wheels in Chief Crazy Captain Christo's head start spinning out of control till he realizes the train has not left the station yet. 158 tunes must be written for a little girl before the big show. He has only one chance to reach a person with the stature of Gwen. So Chief Crazy Captain Christo does what any red blooded American male would do. He CREATES his opportunity to shine onstage with none other than Gwen Renee Stefani Rossdale. Here is his plan in a nutshell:

Now in order for Chief Crazy Captain Christo to pull off this daring display of unadulterated passion, extreme cooperation will be needed by all parties involved. So without further going into detail, the most important person for this project will be GWEN STEFANI. It is required of Gwen to be willing to make sure my girlfriend is onstage with me singing as well. So I am switching mode to the O-Range Blob of Light and transforming over to meet with Gwen Stefani right now. SKA Douche ( Kung Fu Panda!)

Half kind of expecting me, Gwen Stefani Rossdale meets me with these exact words. For this piece, Gwen is going by the name Gwest Ro

Gwest Ro. : " Don't Speak! Let me guess. You're the infamous no ones ever heard of before Chief Crazy Captain Christo!

O-Range Blob of Light- " What's a pretty L.A.M.B like you talking to a LION like me. I am hear to lay down some hot licks and you kind of need to understand why. OK first off, I need you Gwest Ro.

You are the perfect woman to help me pull this off. There is a little girl who will need our help in the future so as words from my past have often hinted ' The future's here we are it and we are on our own.'"

Gwest Ro- " Tight tune man! But in case you haven't noticed I have more of a funky ska thing going."

O-Range Blob of Light-" Yeah so what's your point. Love Angel Music Baby Lives In Our Nation.

I need you Mrs Rossdale to jam out around three to ten songs over the course of say the next thirty three years. If done right, you will end up being an Academy Award winning actress or songstress or seamstress or maybe even the first director duo to win for best director. The point I am trying to make

is this. Help me write and produce and record three songs and you will be able to write you own ticket to paradise. And seeing by the size of your family, you might need four tickets. With me tickets are expandable. So if you and Gavin feel the need to expand, so shall the Kingdom. Now what do you say Gwen. Or as Jack Sparrow might say, What say you Gwen?"

Gwest Ro-" Let me ask my husband Gavin tomorrow cause I think he's still trying to find his a**hole brother in L.A. Wow, you kind of caught me off guard there but it sounds like a cool idea. Your girlfriend must really trust you"

O-Range Blob of Light-" Yea we have a pretty cool trust thing going. We flipped a 50 cent piece and I won. Don't tell her that it was a two headed coin>).

Gwest Ro-" That's terrible! Hey can I borrow it. I want my husband to do a few things around the house while I'm gone!"

O-Range Blob of Light-" Yea sure! Here you go. And hey I hope you don't mind but I came up with a name for your movie studio if you go that route.

Gwest Ro- " Oh yeah what is it?

O-Range Blob of Light- " I'll tell you in January 2010 OK. Later Angel Momma Babe!"

Gwest Ro- " Hollaback in January 2010 or don't bother buddy!"

O-Range Blob of Light-" Oh hey can you stand one final request. Would you know how to get a hold of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models? You know like all of them. I've got a special video that has to do with airbrushing and I need their help as well." Gwest Ro just smiled and laughed rather loudly I can't wait to flip that coin! I love the Great Pumpkin and the Pumpkin Patch, don't you?

Stay tuned and find out in January 2010 what the name of the studio is going to be called. This has been another abbreviated version of The Great Pumpkin Letters

Many thanks for reading our Hot Licks article

Due to the popularity of the guitar, there are a huge number of guitar courses available to all and in all shapes and sizes.   This is great news if you are learning how to play the guitar as you will be spoilt for choice when it comes to choosing.   As always, there is a downside.

It is no lie there are loads of great courses out there, the thing is, there are also a lot of bad ones too.  If you are going to part with your hard-earned money, do your research and make sure you are getting what you paid for.  Here are 7 tips to show you what you need to consider when looking for the best guitar lessons.

1.    Format.  There are different ways you can access the courses.  Some books come with a CD or DVD.  Others come with a multimedia disc which can be used with a PC.  Some courses also need to be connected to the Internet.  You need to think about your situation with regards to this and also think about how you like to learn.

2.    Level.  You need to make sure you are buying a course which is suitable for your level.  It is important to challenge yourself but trying something too difficult for your level will only deliver a blow to your confidence.  

3.    Content.  Think about your reasons for wanting to learn guitar. Do you have a passion for blues and want to learn blues guitar?  Well you can.  There are courses available which focus on the guitar techniques for a particular genre of music for example, rock guitar lessons.  Other courses teach only whole songs.  The choice is available so pick a course which matches your reasons for wanting to learn how to play a guitar.

4.    Quality of Content.  As mentioned, make sure you pick a guitar course which is run by professionals and has a good reputation.  You can look on the Internet for reviews or ask in your local guitar/music shop for advice on which are the best.  Doing this will ensure the course you buy is not only made by experienced teachers and guitarists but is also well run and logically constructed.

5.    User friendly.  Following on from the last point, the course you buy must be user friendly and easy enough to use.  If it is over complicated and you can't learn from it, you will have lost some money and not learnt the guitar.

6.    Illustrations.  If you can, look through the instructional book.  The best ones are clear concise and easy to understand.  They should also have helpful images which can show you step-by-step what you need to learn.

7.    Cost.  So, you need to look for a course with all the above things which is in line with your budget.  As there are so many available, you are sure to find one which can help you learn how to play a guitar and doesn't leave a hole in your pocket.

Liam Gibson of LearnGuitar-User-Reviews.com, specializes in helping aspiring guitarists get the info that they need to make the right choices. Liam, a stage guitarist himself, leads his team of guitar experts to constantly review new courses and products in the market and make sure you get the best value products that work for you. Check out actual user reviews and feedback of the most popular guitar courses at LearnGuitar-User-Reviews.

Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/music-articles/follow-these-tips-for-an-easy-way-to-learn-guitar-1075088.html